This is what it means to breath.

When are you going to watch Charlotte in the play? I promise I won't stand you up like I did for studying this week. I sort of owe you big time for dealing with me acting mentally ill, drunk and emotional in moderation for the last ... well, almost two and some days weeks. I've been all over the place but it's over and I mean it for real this time.

If I start acting barmy again, you have permission to hex me until I straighten up.

I know we lost but are we (meaning you, me and Rachel - and anyone else) still on for Uno?

Nice match. You played well.

I wonder how obvious the fact I kept looking at Josh was. I hope Brooke isn't about to kick me off squad. I totally blundered on that one cheer. I wonder if my real lack of pep is why we lost the match.

Why did someone have to leave their copy of Witch Weekly out and why did it have to have an article out about this stuff? It's a sign, right?

Be Strong. No matter how much it hurts pretend to be okay. Visualize the future not the past. You can make anything happen by visualizing what you want.

Limit Contact. Let him approach when he is ready. No more owls or notes.

Find Distractions. Cheer, prefect stuff, studying, etc etc. Find new things to do.

Accept the Breakup. The goal is make a fresh start not to rekindle.

Known Issues
- conflict resolution / fear of conflict
- jealousy

Work on this. You can make anything you want happen. You decide your own destiny. No one else.

I think we-

Are you-

I thought I would save you all the trouble of hearing it in the grapevine or having to ask. Josh and I decided mutually to no longer be together. We're still going to be part of each other's life though and we still care about each other. The timing just isn't there and we both need different things right now.

Before you ask, I'm okay. I think I'm just going to throw some rocks in the Great Lake.

I'd rather you yell than not talk to me. I miss your voice and I hate fighting like this. If you still want to space, I understand but I thought you should know.

Rachel and Brooke were pretty firm on their opinions on this. I can't just back down this time. It's killing me because I really want to go find Josh and apologize but I didn't do anything wrong. If anyone needs to apologize, it's him. He's right mean sometimes and sometimes I don't think he gets just how horrible some of the things he says are. Jareth doesn't want to be his friend and neither does Tristan but they could all just pretend to like each other sometimes. It would make my life entirely less complicated.

Prefect rounds and Jareth's birthday haven't exactly done much to distract me.

I have Cheer today. Hopefully, I'll be able to get my mind off everything during that.

This is not the fun part of having a boyfriend.

A student who is confined to the hospital wing reported an item missing to me early today and I promised that I would help try and find it. It appears the item included some rather personal writings. Someone has found this notebook and taken to posting excerpts around the school.

Due to the nature of the writings, I'm not sure if the name should be shared. Of course, some people are already speculating. I trust that they did not mean for anyone to ever have their personal thoughts read. I'm removing what I can find but I'm honestly not sure how many posting there are in the school.

I know there isn't much more that can be done but I thought I should let you know about the situation.

Let's play a game.

I'll give you two things and you tell me which you prefer.

Apples or oranges?

No one has mentioned anything but is there a plan for Jareth's birthday?

We have less than a week now to come up with a plan and I'd like to help. I just don't know if any of you have anything planned.

I can't sleep.

There is some sort of party-
Josh went-

Let's hypothetically say you're in a relationship and your boyfriend constantly sees fit to go get drunk with his friends and sometimes those friends are really pretty other girls. What are you supposed to feel about it?

Normally, I'd talk to Brooke about this sort of thing but I can't seem to find her and I figure this means she's one of them. This is weird really but you're a guy and maybe you can help me understand. Does the fact I don't like need to drink or party make me uncool? I sometimes feel like everything is more fun and exciting than me.

I guess it's not so much jealousy as sometimes I'd like to hear him tell someone that he'd rather spend time with me. I mean, I'm okay with him having friends and I'm okay with him having a good time without me sometimes. I just wish that I felt like those times paled in comparison to his moments with me.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm just a burden to him.

Can we please do something that does not involve me sitting here feeling like crap?

This is sort of awkward since I know we haven't exactly talked in over a month. I don't want to do this anymore though. I'm not the sort of girl who hold grudges or wishes ill on people. I certainly don't wish ill on you.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about how things have turned out for you.

No one likes it when people write hurtful things about them. I know that I was hurt when people wrote mean things about me in the slambook. It hurts even more when people that you think are your friend talk about you behind you back.

For the record, everything that I've ever had to say about you was said to you and not behind your back. I did not take part in the bashing in the slambook a month or so ago. I honestly don't know if I'll ever look at one again. I just thought you might like to know that.

I'm not asking to be friends again and I'm certainly not apologizing for telling you how I felt about your actions in the past. I am extending an olive branch of civility and sweets though. If you need them, they're in the top of my trunk. My brother sent a whole lot of things the other day. I've already given some to my Secret Santa but there is still more than I can eat on my own. If it'll help, you're welcome too it.